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Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Why I Won't Have To Tell My Daughter She's Beautiful

Before I explain the title of this post, I want to be very clear about one thing: I will take every single chance I can get to tell my daughter how beautiful she is. I plan to tell her every day, multiple times if I can, for the rest of my life. But if I do a few things right, she won't need validation from me, or anyone else for that matter. Let me explain...

I am a BeachBody coach because I LOVE the opportunity to inspire women to live the healthiest lives possible. I follow numerous fitness coaches and mother-focused fitness groups on social media because I enjoy the uplifting, healthy atmosphere they provide. I also participate in numerous sewing and motherhood groups. Despite the positive, accepting atmosphere of these groups, the most common thread among them is "I'm sorry for my [insert flaw]" or "Forgive the [insert flaw]" or "Please ignore my [insert flaw]." I don't think I've met or seen a single woman who is completely comfortable with her body. Whether it's the infamous "mummy tummy" or I've even seen a woman who was self-conscious about her nostrils...there doesn't seem to be a single woman on the planet who is happy just living in her skin.

I'll admit, I'm in the same boat. I don't love the fact that my feet are large for a woman, that my thighs will always rub a little when I walk, that I have stretch marks and varicose veins, or that I too have a "mummy tummy" (I actually love that title - it's so cute!). There are days when I look in the mirror and all I see are love handles, scars, freckles, and embarrassingly persistent acne. I have had moments when I thought I needed to look a certain way in order to "deserve" love, or lose a certain amount of weight in order to be able to look pretty, and I have always felt that I cannot leave home without makeup. These aren't things that anyone ever expressly told me. These are things I've told myself based on my perceptions.

I am on the warpath to prevent this mindset in my daughter. 

I know that the world will impress false standards on her, as they have every woman in history. I know that I can't shield her from every lie and evil, nor can I control those around her and the perceptions she will develop as a result of these things. But I will do my best to instill in her something that took me 20 years to figure out. When I was in college, I found this verse and it has become my life verse:

This is the message that I hope my daughter chooses to believe. I hope that the only voice that matters to her in the end is God's, and that she lets Him be enthralled by her beauty as she endeavors to honor Him. Even as I strive to believe it myself, I hope that she develops confidence and strength that far surpasses me as she learns to see herself as God does: enthrallingly beautiful, perfectly created in His image and designed to share her spirit with the world as a worshipful testament to His love. If I can help her to do this, I won't have to tell her she's beautiful. She'll know it, deep down in her soul, in a place that only God can reach. I won't have to tell her she's beautiful because she will have already heard it from the King of Kings, who is enthralled by her.

The same applies to you and me. It may feel impossible to believe some days when the numbers on the scale aren't what you hoped for, or the mirror is reminding you of every flaw and scar. I encourage you to write Psalm 45:10-11 down and tape it somewhere you'll see it often. Then, when you doubt, "Forget your people and your father's house. Let the King be enthralled by your beauty; honor Him, for He is your Lord."

Hapless but hopeful,

1 comment:

  1. Awesome verse! I still remember you introducing me to it at the coffee shop in college :)