Review: Dancing on a Powder Keg: The Intimate Voice of a Young Mother and Author, Her Letters Composed in the Lengthening Shadow of the Third Reich; Her Poems from the Theresienstadt Ghetto.

Dancing on a Powder Keg: The Intimate Voice of a Young Mother and Author, Her Letters Composed in the Lengthening Shadow of the Third Reich; Her Poems from the Theresienstadt Ghetto. by Ilse Weber
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

**I received a digital copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.**

Introduction
I know it sounds cliche, but I know of no other way to say it: the humanity of this book will haunt you. Isle Weber's story, pieced together through records from Yad Vashem and her personal letters and poems, is one of the most moving Holocaust accounts you will ever read.

The story
Ilse Weber was a brilliant, creative, artistic soul. She was a doting wife, a loving mother, and a loyal friend. She wrote beloved radio programs for children, as well as musicals and poetry. She was also a Jew. As such, her fate was sealed when Hitler tore through her homeland. She loved Germany and the German language, which was her native tongue. The book opens with her letters mostly to her friend, Lilian. As the years progress, Ilse's letters are more and more emotional as she watches the world around her devolve into evil. She describes how former neighbors and friends ignore or even verbally attack her in public. She is confused by the political changes that seem to drive personality changes in almost everyone she knows.

Eventually, Ilse and her husband (Willi) make the heart-wrenching decision to send their oldest son, Hans, to live with friends in England. Hans arrives safely via Kindertransport and spends the rest of the war bouncing around England and Sweden. Meanwhile, Ilse and Willi bounce around Czechoslovakia and Poland with their younger son, Tomas. Ilse and Willi find it increasingly hard to find work and they both begin to suffer from various chronic illnesses. They find comfort in their community and Ilse's poems. As the Jews are thrown together in the ghetto of Theresienstadt, Isle volunteers to work in the children's hospital, playing her illegal guitar to cheer up the suffering children. Eventually, Ilse heroically refuses to abandon the children as they are rounded up for transportation. She was killed along with all the children, including her son Tomas, in a gas chamber at Auschwitz. Willi is taken to the camps too, but not before he is able to bury Ilse's poems. He survived and was able to retrieve them after the war. Hans survived as well and helped publish this account of his mother's last days.

Literary analysis
At first I wasn't sure I would be able to get into a book comprised of personal letters, especially as it is only from Ilse's perspective. I'm also not usually a huge fan of poetry. I was blown away by everything in this book. The letters drew me in with their simple, honest, emotional accounts of Ilse's daily life. She talks about being a mother, caring for her household, trying desperately to hold her family together as the world around her fell apart. This book read like Anne Frank meets Sophie's Choice. It tore my heart out. I cannot fathom sending my child away. I cannot imagine what must have been going through her mind on that last trip with all those children. I cannot even begin to know what would have gone through her mind standing in that gas chamber, clutching her son, sensing that the end had come...

Any grammatical errors were original to Ilse, and honestly are few and far between (possibly attributed to her efforts to learn and write in new languages). This book was difficult to read on an emotional level, but incredibly moving.

Conclusion
I cannot recommend this book highly enough. It is unique in a way similar to Anne Frank, but from the perspective of a courageous and loving mother and wife. I want the world to read this book and never, ever forget Ilse Weber, her family, and the other 6 million Jews who were murdered in the Holocaust.

**Special note: If you ever have the opportunity to visit Israel, you must make the trip to Yad Vashem. It is breathtaking and unforgettable. It is absolutely worth your time. It forever changed my perspective on the Holocaust and the Jewish people.**

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Review: In the Days of Rain: A Daughter, a Father, a Cult

In the Days of Rain: A Daughter, a Father, a Cult by Rebecca Stott
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

**I received a digital copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.**

Introduction
Rebecca Stott was born fourth-generation Exclusive Brethren, an infamous and extremely conservative Christian-based cult. How did those experiences shape her development and the rest of her life? How much did it contribute to her father's volatile personality?

The story
Ms. Stott promised her father that she would write a book about his life. She spent the first seven or so years of her life in the Exclusive Brethren, an extreme version of the Plymouth Brethren, during which time her father was a very prominent member. She shares her experiences, which are validated and fleshed-out using news clippings and interviews from other former members. Her father died before the book could be completed; however, Ms. Stott attempts to honor his memory as she exposes the volatile and unforgiving world of the Exclusive Brethren, starting in the early years of her great-grandparents and continuing through her childhood and the years immediately following her family's withdrawal.

Literary analysis
I was disappointed in the overall content of this book. The topic - one family's experiences in a cult - was promising and I had high hopes. The book spends a lot of time building up to the actual cult information. The author talks at length about her promise to her father, her struggle to find the time/energy to write the book, her fears surrounding the controversial topic, etc. Once she gets to what is, in my opinion, the meat of the book, it is hard to follow. The timeline bounces around constantly. I regularly had to go back a few pages or even chapters to try to figure out where I was in her historical context. The ending was also unsatisfactory, leaving me feeling like the author had simply run out of things to say and so ended rather glibly.

There were several supposedly Biblical references that were incorrect (e.g. the author states that Joseph was the youngest son of Jacob; this is not true - Benjamin was the youngest son.), as well as grammatical errors. As I received an advance copy, I expect that some of these mistakes have been corrected before publication in July 2017. I found this book difficult to read and considered abandoning it more than once.

Conclusion
I do not recommend this book. There are surely better historical and even personal accounts of the Exclusive Brethren out there if you are curious. The errors and disjointed nature of this book, along with the Ms. Stott's style of writing, were not engaging or easy to read. This is, however, only my opinion as requested by the publisher in exchange for this honest review.

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Review: The Sacrament of Happy: Surprised by the Secret of Genuine Joy

The Sacrament of Happy: Surprised by the Secret of Genuine Joy by Lisa Harper
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

**I received a digital copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.**

Introduction
Lisa Harper is back with another engaging, hilariously relatable book that reads like a fond missive between friends. Can Christians be truly, deeply happy? What does the Bible have to say about happiness? Spoiler alert: it is not only permissible, but actually encouraged! God wants his people to be happy!

The story
Lisa has certainly faced some trials in her life, a fact about which she is consistently honest and vulnerable. The amazing thing about her is that every time you see her, she has a million-watt smile that could probably be seen for miles in the Tennessee wilderness where she resides. How is she always so happy?! She's human, which means she leads an imperfect life just like the rest of us. Lisa Harper has, however, stumbled on a very simple, foundational Biblical secret: that is that God desires for all His people to know true and lasting happiness. This does not mean life will be perfect, that we'll get every material thing we desire, or that we'll never know suffering. On the contrary, we are promised suffering and even persecution. In her typical light-hearted but heavy hitting way, Lisa mixes personal (and often hilarious) anecdotes with Biblical truths that are life-changing. This book gives practical advice and examples of how to be truly happy in Christ.

Literary analysis
This book occasionally felt a little disjointed, but I honestly didn't mind. I am not ashamed to admit: I love and admire Lisa Harper for the wonderful, exuberant woman of God that she is. Her spirit is one of encouragement, her heart is bigger than a Montana sky, and her joy is infectious. Some people are put off by her story-telling; I love it. I enjoy the way in which Lisa manages to stay true to herself while seeking to lead others to Christ. Her books so far have had wonderful nuggets of truth sprinkled in among stories and conversation that often make you feel as though you're sitting right next to her, sharing a cup of coffee and a heart hug or two.

I did not find any grammatical or spelling errors in this first reading.

Conclusion
I recommend this book to anyone looking for a quick, encouraging, Biblically sound read!

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Review: The Education of a Coroner: Lessons in Investigating Death

The Education of a Coroner: Lessons in Investigating Death by John Bateson
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

**I received a digital copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.**

Introduction
The Education of a Coroner is about the experiences of one man and his coworkers in the coroner's office of Marin County, California, throughout his career, which spanned from the late 70s through the new millennium. The rapid changes in technology, philosophy, and techniques in just under 40 years is incredible. The cases are morbidly fascinating, especially considering Marin County is one of the wealthiest counties per capita in California. Each chapter brings new insights into the unique and often completely misunderstood life of a coroner.

The story
Ken Holmes worked in the Marin County Coroner's office for 36 years before he retired amidst political and financial upheaval. In his career he went from working as a coroner's death investigator, hired straight out of a simple mortuary job, to being elected as County Coroner for three terms. He personally handled cases involving everything from Golden Gate Bridge suicides to the death of Robin William's mother. He also helped hunt down the infamous Trailside Killer, a serial killer who overpowered, sexually assaulted, and then killed female hikers in parks around Marin County. Despite all the blood and gore, Holmes loved his job. He maintained that the most important and rewarding part of his job was helping effected loved ones work through the aftermath and find not only answers, but also peace. The author manages to tell the stories not only of Holmes, but of each case, with detail and keen insight. This reader is at once intrigued, angered, appalled, moved, and then intrigued again. I had no idea how the coroner fit into the law enforcement community, nor did I know what the professional and training requirements entailed. The author includes details on every aspect of the daily life of a coroner. This book is both educational and fascinating!

Literary analysis
I thoroughly enjoyed this book for both it's educational value and it's fascinating look at true crimes. It almost reads like an episode of Dateline mixed with CSI; it certainly feels like the writing of a crime reporter, although I found I didn't mind it in this case. I loved coming away with not only insider knowledge of some really interesting death scenarios, but also a much better understanding of the role and work of a coroner.

This book is a quick, engaging, easy read. I did note that for some reason Chapter 10 seemed to be riddled with grammatical errors. I received an ARC though, so this may have been corrected before final publication. Otherwise this book was a pleasure to read.

Conclusion
I would definitely recommend this to anyone who enjoys reading about true crime and/or anyone who aspires to running for local government!

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Review: Something Beautiful Happened: A Story of Survival and Courage in the Face of Evil

Something Beautiful Happened: A Story of Survival and Courage in the Face of Evil by Yvette Manessis Corporon
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

**I received a digital copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.**

Introduction
Yvette Manessis Corporan immediately strikes the reader as being the type of person who is well-connected, well-educated, and well-spoken, all while remaining humble and welcoming. Her life is fascinating in many aspects, and yet in another way it's another beautiful example of the typical American story - descended from hard-working immigrants who are proud of their culture and yet thankful for the opportunities afforded them in the United States. As she sought to tell her family's version of this tale, she stumbled across so many wonderful details and life lessons. In very easily read, almost conversational (dare I say it felt like an interview?) prose, Corporan weaves a tale that when viewed from afar would resemble the beautiful intricately woven clothing of the Greek people of Erikousa.

The story
Yvette Manessis Corporan becomes obsessed with uncovering the details of a story told to her by her grandmother. It's a story of courage, loyalty, and friendship across dangerous and age-old cultural divides. Yvette's grandmother had been one of many villagers who daringly helped to conceal a Jewish family amidst their largely Christian (Greek Orthodox) community during WWII. There were knocks at the door almost every night, but they never knew who would be on the other side - Nazi soldiers out for blood, or the poor Jewish family they had befriended coming to teach sewing lessons while the children slept peacefully. As Corporan dug deeper, she found family members of the survivors and was able to orchestrate an elaborate but beautiful reunion between the Jewish descendants and the Greek islanders. Even as Corporan worked tirelessly on this reunion, her own extended family were brutally attacked, gunned down by a modern-day would-be Nazi who mistakenly thought they were Jewish. The stories flash back and forth as Corporan seeks to reconcile the two scenarios. This book is a beautiful journey through shared memories, beautiful cultures, and moving introspection.

Literary analysis
This book is very well-written. It does bounce around a bit, and there are times where the author switches names back and forth as well. As long as you can keep up and not get distracted (I had no problems), this novel is a pleasure to read. I found no grammatical errors in this first reading.

Conclusion
I recommend this book, especially to those who enjoy books on personal journeys (such as "Eat, Pray, Love") or historical reflection (such as books about Holocaust survivors).

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Grace: Finding Home

I grew up in a military family. I went to a military college. I joined the military. Then, I married into the military. My birth certificate was signed by my Daddy as a Second Lieutenant and a military doctor who later became my doctor in college. The military is indeed a small world. But it's MY world; it always has been, and I've grown accustomed to its many nuances. I start getting the "itch" to move around the two-year mark and I absolutely love researching the next place. House hunting has become somewhat of a hobby. I love moving, making new friends, exploring new places, finding those hole-in-the-wall places that become a regular family haunt. I even secretly enjoy the packing and unpacking processes. The only aspect of moving I've always secretly and ashamedly hated is church hunting (perhaps I'll share more on that in a future post). I mean it! I. LOVE. MOVING.

 But I will admit that I dread the inevitable question of home. "Where are you from?" Well, can you quantify that? Do you mean where did I live longest? England. No, I don't think of myself as "basically British." Where did I graduate high school? Georgia. Nope, I have no sentimental ties to either of my two high schools other than some of the friendships I maintained over the years. At this point they usually ask, "OK, well where were you born?" California. To most people it would seem like I have no home. In fact, I honestly usually just say I'm from Georgia, where my parents retired, in order to keep things simple. Every once in a while the particularly curious (nosy?) people press anyway because I "don't sound like [I'm] from Georgia." But you get the picture. My life has been fairly nomadic. And yet, I've never felt cheated or as though I've missed out on having a home. Everywhere we went, God provided family and fellowship. I have friends and adopted family all over the world. God has blessed and enriched my life beyond measure.

Now, we are facing leaving the military life behind. It's really happening. We are seriously planning to move to one place and hope to stay there (or very close) for the rest of our lives. And I'm TERRIFIED. Why? Because I will have to reevaluate and perhaps redefine my concept of home. In her book Keeping Place, Jen Pollock Michel discusses the concepts of home and housekeeping, and how they effect our spiritual lives. In the first chapter - which is a fascinating look at nostalgia and homesickness - she says, "words not only describe how we feel; they distinctly shape how we understand our feelings...as complex emotional beings, we need nomenclature for fear and self-doubt, longing and desire. In short, we must be taught to explain ourselves to ourselves as well as to others." I love the idea that our words shape our perception of our lives and the world around us. In searching my heart during this time of transition, I was surprised to find that I am a little bit apprehensive about staying in one place, but mostly at peace with the thought of finally settling into a new life.

There will be so many changes. In fact, it seems to me that these first few years of my marriage have been nothing but huge, life-altering changes. But as I look back, I see God's hand in every one of those situations, quietly but forcefully moving to make our lives better and draw us closer to Him. I know that every year will continue to bring new changes. But I also know a God who is never surprised and, in fact, has an amazing plan in store for me and my family. There's nothing new under the sun, and I can have peace knowing that the God of the universe is quietly working behind the scenes of my chaotic, lovely, messy life.

Will you pray with me as we go through this transition? And I beg your patience in the coming months as I'm sure this change and the many stages involved will feature regularly on the blog. I've also decided to finish my Masters degree, in addition to everything else! Please bear with me and I promise to keep you updated with all the craziness.

I remain hapless but hopeful,
Cassie

Review: From Holmes to Sherlock: The Story of the Men and Women Who Created an Icon

From Holmes to Sherlock: The Story of the Men and Women Who Created an Icon by Mattias Boström
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

**I received a digital copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.**

Introduction
Have you ever wondered about the extended history of Sherlock Holmes? He is one of the most enduring and oddly endearing literary characters of all time. But how did he come to life? What was Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's inspiration? What magic endears him to centuries of young and old alike? These questions (and much, MUCH more) are all answered in this book. Read on and get to know Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson as you never have before!

The story
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was a struggling doctor with a penchant for writing. One day he put pen to paper and - voila! - Sherlock Holmes was born. The many adventures of Sherlock Holmes would eventually become Conan Doyle's primary source of income, spanning decades and bringing millions in royalties. Generations of men and women worldwide were captivated by this character and his unique ability to solve crimes through observation and deduction. Despite Conan Doyle's repeated attempts to leave Holmes behind him and move on to more "serious" writing, Holmes endured, even after his creator's death. The silhouette of Sherlock Holmes - that hat and pipe and pointed features - have been featured in every type of media and in countless advertisements in every country in the world. Conan Doyle's legacy even helped his children live in luxury, despite their completely incompetent efforts to manage the estate. Actors and Holmes enthusiasts have helped to shape his character throughout the years, keeping him relevant and much beloved. Each generation has seen efforts to modernize Holmes and Watson, some with great success. And so it is that the title of this book (and obviously the content itself) takes the reader from Holmes, the stoic but brilliantly eccentric Victorian detective, to Sherlock, the modern "consultant" that helped launch Benedict Cumberbatch to international stardom.

Literary analysis
This book is extremely well researched. By the end of the book, the reader cannot help but believe that the author has literally left no page unturned! From personal letters and early manuscripts to interviews, photos, and much more - the author was incredibly thorough. It must be said that this is likely now THE definitive history of Sherlock Holmes.

It is worth noting, and perhaps this is the only minor criticism I have, that the book is a translation. There are often times where transitions from page to page, or even paragraph to paragraph, seem to jump around awkwardly. It is clear that the writer is trying to employ literary devices to keep the reader engaged. But sometimes the transitions are jolting, awkward, or on a few occasions even seem confusingly juxtapositional. Otherwise, the diction, vocabulary, and grammar are an absolute pleasure to read!

Conclusion
This book is very long and certainly requires time and dedication to get through. However, if you are at all a fan of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson, you will enjoy this journey through their historical presence. The intricacies of all the behind-the-scenes work that has gone into keeping this beloved partnership relevant is astounding and nothing short of miraculous. Do I recommend this book? "Elementary, my dear Watson!" Of course I do!

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Review: The Little French Bistro

The Little French Bistro by Nina George
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

**I received a digital copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.**

Introduction
The Little French Bistro is a novel about a woman named Marianne and her journey to redefine herself after a dramatic suicide attempt. She finds romance, passion, and a new lease on life in the small Breton town of Kerdruc, France.

The story
Marianne Lanz (or Messman) was stuck in a loveless marriage for almost 40 years. After attempting suicide in Paris and being fished out of the Seine by a homeless man, she runs to the northern Breton region of France. She winds up in a small coastal village called Kerdruc where she becomes a chef in a local hotel restaurant. There she makes new friends, finds romance, and discovers a new passion for life and beauty. Marianne determines to permanently leave her old life (and husband) behind and start a new life in Kerdruc, thus milking as much joy and passion as possible out of the rest of her life.

Literary analysis
Nina George is one of the few writers of our time who has a unique ability to seamlessly go from being conversational to lyrical. This book is beautifully written, and even more wonderfully edited. There were no grammatical errors, at least not that I noticed.

The story flows smoothly and the characters, although not too deeply developed, are diverse and eccentric enough to be endearing. There were a few times I thought the diction a bit too flowery, and a few of the characters' stories are perhaps a bit too stereotypically European. The overall storyline itself is entirely predictable, but so well written that you still enjoy the journey. I will say that I appreciated that Ms. George did not feel the need to throw in graphic sex scenes; the romance, is sweet and just spicy enough to hold your interest without resorting to trashy play-by-play. I don't often read romance for a lot of reasons, not the least of which is I just don't enjoy it. But this was a sweet little coming-of-age story (despite the character being well past middle-age), with just the right amount of romance as to be a redeeming plot tool instead of a sales ploy.

My only criticisms of this book all have to do with it's predictability. The storyline, although sweet, is entirely predictable. I felt that I knew the ending before I got there; I did, however, still enjoy getting there alongside the main character.

One extra praise for this book: any time Ms. George uses foreign language quotes, especially in the unique Breton language, she actually provides the translation! So many writers don't do that and it can be infuriating. So brava, Ms. George, for not leaving your readers in the dark!

Conclusion
This is a well-written, sweet, easy read that I recommend as a fun poolside/summer option!


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Review: The Pinks

The Pinks: The First Women Detectives, Operatives, and Spies with the Pinkerton National Detective Agency by Chris Enss

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

**I received a digital copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.**

Introduction

The Pinks is a book about the women that worked for Allan Pinkerton and his Pinkerton Detective Agency in the years before, during, and after the American Civil War. The author makes it very clear that in hiring these women, especially Kate Warne, Pinkerton was far ahead of his time. Kate Warne led the Pinkerton women - or "Pinks" - and was a master of disguise and espionage. Her actions, as well as those of the women in her network, saved thousands of lives in the war and paved the way for women in the police force (although that would not truly become commonplace for over 100 years later).

The story

Kate Warne had gumption, initiative, and courage. She was resourceful, creative, and perhaps just the right amount of crazy. She fit right in with the Pinkerton Detective Agency, despite being the first woman on the payroll. Her disguises and acting abilities were masterful and crucial to Pinkerton cases involving everything form murder and robbery to espionage and conspiracy. Allan Pinkerton credits her efforts with saving thousands of lives during the Civil War, as well as solving many high-stakes cases. This book provides the harrowing detail of some of the most notorious cases of the Pinkerton ladies. Kate had her hand in all of them, although there were other women, some of whom paid for their efforts with their lives. This is an illuminating tale of one of the parts of history that deserves more of our attention and respect.

Literary analysis

This book was very well written with only a couple of very minor grammatical errors. It has been very well edited for form and grammar. In that respect it is a joy to read.

This book is also very well researched, relying in large part on the personal recollections of Allan Pinkerton himself, among others. Each chapter is a unique story, and as such each chapter has it's own bibliography. This can make the book feel a bit disjointed, but goes to show how thorough the author was in their research.

The biggest criticism I have for this book is the ending. It's far too abrupt! The author seems to make an attempt at a summarization ending in the final story. It could, however, benefit from an epilogue of some sort. The ending feels rushed, as though the author wasn't quite sure how to end so they just included the summarization with the final story. It was a quick read, but one might think a bit too quick.

Conclusion

This is a fascinating and quick read! It is well-written, thoroughly researched, and certainly worth your time. I recommend this book!

Review: MacArthur's Spies: The Soldier, the Singer, and the Spymaster Who Defied the Japanese in World War II

MacArthur's Spies: The Soldier, the Singer, and the Spymaster Who Defied the Japanese in World War II by Peter Eisner
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

**I received a digital copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.**

Introduction

MacArthur's Spies is a harrowing tale of heroism and espionage in the Philippines during World War II. The author chose to focus on the people and events surrounding three main players: Claire (the primary character and the "Singer" in the title), Boone (the "Soldier"), and Chick Parsons (the "Spymaster"). It is broken into five parts: 1) Claire's life before WWII and the Philippines leading into war with Japan; 2) war in the Philippines and the US surrender; 3) life in the Philippines under Japanese occupation; 4) liberation by the US and life immediately following the war; and finally 5) Claire's life in her later years and her battle to get compensation from the US government.

The story

I call myself a World War II history nut, but I have a shameful confession - I am one of those who focuses mostly on the European theater, especially the Holocaust. I know very little about the Pacific theater, especially other than Pearl Harbor. Shameful, I know! I chose to read this book in an effort to remedy that and I'm sure glad I did. Despite the somewhat misleading title, the book mostly focuses on Claire - her life, her relationships, her many aliases, and her contributions to the resistance efforts. She was a woman of many mysteries, having married at least four times and somehow adopted a little Filipino girl along the way. Though she aspired to be a performer, she wasn't successful until she opened a nightclub in Manila during the Japanese occupation. At that point she became "Madame Tsubaki," and one of the leaders of the efforts to surreptitiously support both the American POWs interred on the islands and the guerrillas hiding in the densely forested hills. Boone was her contact with the guerrillas. He had escaped capture during the US surrender and led a large contingent of American and Filipino fighters. He was in direct contact with General MacArthur himself via the spymaster, Chick Parsons. Chick had originally escaped imprisonment by masquerading as a somewhat-legitimate diplomat. After his escape, he asked to return and be put to work in the efforts to recapture the Philippines. Without spoiling too many details, we know the historical outcome - MacArthur did indeed return in resounding triumph to liberate the Philippines and vanquish the evil (in this instance) Japanese. He credited much of the success of his campaign to the intelligence gathered by Claire, Boone, Parsons, and their extended network. Many American POWs and guerrillas also owed their lives to Claire and others who provided supplies and money whenever possible. Claire returned to the US a hero. She even wrote a book and had a movie made, although both suffered from the Hollywood effect of an over-eager ghost writer. She spent years trying to get compensation from the US government for all of the money she spent of her own funds to help the guerrillas and POWs. Due to many factors, including the incredible number of people making similar claims, Claire only received a fraction of what she spent. The Filipino people honored her sacrifice after her death by memorializing her in the capitol building in Manila.

Literary analysis

This book was written by a reporter, and as such it carries with it that style. It is fast-paced and filled with facts expounded by conjecture. Mr. Eisner did a ton of research, even dusting off the court documents from Claire's claim. He is to be commended for his hard work in being thorough, even traveling to the Philippines and interviewing family members and survivors. Claire was a mysterious character and given what little is truly known about her identity, Mr. Eisner did a wonderful job of making her an intriguing character. I only wish he'd been able to expound more on Boone and his troops, or on Chick Parson's harrowing experiences being spirited back and forth behind enemy lines on submarines. There's no doubt that Claire was a hero in her own right; I just would have liked to know more about the other heroes listed in the title (namely Boone and Parsons).

The format in the digital version was all over the place and at times this made it difficult to read. However, I have a feeling this is due to it being an advanced copy adapted for Kindle (similar to a PDF) and is not the fault of the publisher or author.

There were also times that sentences and/or phrases were awkwardly repeated, or the editing wasn't complete so that the sentence structure was clumsy. Again, with a final edit I'm sure this will be corrected. It in no way detracted from the story itself.

My only other criticism is that I would have like to have seen any photos that survived. The author mentions a specific photo - that of Peggy in front of the Tsubaki Club - several times. Why wasn't it included? Again, this might be due to the nature of this particular digital format. Still, I might have to google that photo as well as others of Claire, Boone, etc. They're such intriguing characters!

Conclusion

While I still maintain that the title is a little misleading (this is really a book about Claire, with asides about her "supporting cast" and "costars"), the book itself is very enlightening. I had no idea that the Philippines were so crucial in the Pacific war, let alone how much the American POWs and Filipinos suffered (aside from the Bataan Death March - everyone knows about Bataan...I hope...). I would definitely recommend this book for it's educational value alone, let alone the heroism of the people it portrays. I will always have the utmost respect for "The Greatest Generation," especially after reading accounts such as this. I am grateful to Mr. Eisner for highlighting these international heroes!

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The Man Brag Blog, 2d Edition

It's been a long time since I've taken the time to brag on my sweet husband. What better time than Father's day? I like to take every opportunity to brag on my husband and tell the world what a wonderful person he is. I'm not as good at doing it in person, but I've been working on that and that is a blog post for another day. Today I want to share a few of the beautiful things my husband has built, as well as the wonderful ways in which he has built me up as a wife and loved on our small family.

First up are my absolute favorites: my new bookshelves. Aren't they gorgeous?! They're solid wood and he took so much time tending to every angle and detail. Side note - the bookshelves are straight and level, but our floor isn't, so if they seem to lean, it's the floor! They're almost full of books already and I've been teasing him that I may need more soon. Mostly I just love them and would be happy to have a whole room full of them! He did such a good job!

Next is this gorgeous cradle he made for our daughter. We knew having a new baby brother would be an adjustment for her, so he wanted her to have a little baby doll of her own to love. She loves this cradle, although admittedly her stuffed Mickey gets more "nap time" than any of her baby dolls. I love the gentle curves on this and the way that it rocks sweetly so that she can rock her baby dolls. Even my daughter herself has tried to take a nap in it more than once. haha Now I just need to get the little foam mattress and blanket finished...(Obviously my husband is so much better at prioritizing and finishing projects than I am...)

He also completed this sweet little airplane toy. Isn't it adorable?! He used several different models as inspiration, but the final product is of his own imagination. My daughter loves airplanes, pointing out every single one that flies overhead. This toy is the beginning of my husband's foray into toy making, and I hope to have more photos of more toys next time. For now, this one is our favorite (well, my daughter's and mine anyway), and maybe she'll be willing to share this very special little airplane with her brother someday. Maybe. haha

Along the same line, we decided to decorate our little boy's room in the theme of airplanes and flying high among the clouds. For this, my husband made the most precious little airplane mobile and even cut clouds out of composite wood (the letters are from Hobby Lobby). I will do a short post on this nursery at a later date, but for now I just want to share these shots of my husband's hard work. I'm so excited about this room; it's the cutest room for a little boy!

The next little project actually started out as an antique dresser that was given to me by my parents when I was in middle school. It was such a cute little dresser, but being n antique, it didn't survive our many moves very well and has started to literally fall to pieces. My husband is working on repairing it in stages - the first of which was this mirror topper. I couldn't bring myself to get rid of the dresser or the topper, so my husband had the brilliant idea to repurpose the topper as an entryway piece. We're going to add hooks on either side of the cubby holes so small children can hang their jackets, but otherwise it is perfect for our small entryway. And I love that I get to keep such a special piece! 

Last but not least is this cool little iPhone/Apple Watch charging station. My husband and I share a hatred of clutter, and cords are no exception. Thus my ingenious hubby came up with this solution after taking inspiration from none other than Pinterest. The final design is all his own, and it's awesome! He said he'll actually be disappointed the next time he upgrades his phone, but it'll give him another chance to innovate. 

I don't want to give the impression that this is all he's done since the last Man Brag Blog - quite the opposite! My husband is constantly working on projects around the house as well as these very special things. We have a wonderful new fence around the backyard, a swing for our toddler in the garage (for those rainy days when the park isn't an option - awesome, right?!), and numerous other things.

On top of that, we have a well-maintained home that reflects the loving care of a diligent husband and father. He spoils us, really he does, and we love him all the more for it. He can't be with us this Father's Day, but I didn't want to miss the opportunity to recognize his hard work. I also wanted to publicly thank him for everything he does. We are blessed beyond measure to have him as the head of our family, a beloved husband and Daddy, and the favorite parent if we're honest. haha We love him so!

Until next time I'm...

Hapless but hopeful,

Cassie

Review: Love in a Time of Hate: The Story of Magda and Andre Trocme and the Village That Said No to the Nazis

Love in a Time of Hate: The Story of Magda and Andre Trocme and the Village That Said No to the Nazis by Hanna Schott
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

**I received a digital copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.**

Introduction
Love in a Time of Hate is the fascinating story of Andre and Magda Trocme. It is divided into six chronological parts, starting with the childhood of Magda (Part I), the childhood of Andre (Part II), young adulthood/marriage/early ministry of the Trocmes (Part III), the early days of the Trocme's ministry in Le Chambon before the Nazi invasion (Part IV), their ministry, pacifism, and involvement with the underground resistance during the Vichy government (Part V), and their final days as France was liberated and their ministry spread across the globe (Part VI).

The story
Although I was eager to get to the meat of the Trocme's work during World War II, I was pleasantly surprised by Parts I-III. As is true for most of us, the individual upbringing of Magda and Andre was crucial to shaping their personal beliefs later in life. Magda's childhood was strict, motherless, and fraught with inner spiritual turmoil all played out in northern Italy. In contrast, Andre's childhood was one of privilege and strict Protestantism in northern France, although his mother also died when he was ten. By the time they met in the U.S., Andre had been called into ministry as a Reformed Pastor, and Magda dreamed of becoming a social worker.

These roles complimented each other later as they ministered to the farming communities and desperate refugees in Southern France. Their ministry began in northern France, but family health issues took them to southern France, despite the distrust of the French Reformed church. Andre frequently butted heads with the church leadership due to his pacifist beliefs, which he had developed while serving in the military. He was passionate about pacifism and tried to influence his congregations, to the annoyance of the underground resistance movement during the War. Even after the war, both Magda and Andre traveled the world spreading the message of peace and pacifism. Andre died after complications from a surgery, but Magda continued his work until her death a decade later.

The most fascinating parts of the book detail the Trocme's courageous work hiding and moving Jewish refugees during World War II. Jewish children in particular found refuge on the high plateau of Le Chambon. Thousands of children and sometimes entire families filtered through, receiving care and education at the school founded by the Trocmes - Ecole Nouvelle Cevenole - which was the only school of its kind in the entire region. Andre and his ministerial staff were imprisoned for their work, but were released mere days before the prison at which they were interred was closed and the prisoners sent to their deaths in Poland. Andre eventually had to go into hiding as the Germans had put a bounty on his head. He narrowly escaped being caught at one point, and credited his escape to an incident with his son and God's timing. Le Chambon was ultimately liberated and Andre was able to return to his family, but not before they suffered several tragic losses.

Literary analysis
This book was well written and thoroughly researched. I did find numerous grammatical and typographical errors that may have been due to its translation (the author is German). I believe, however, that these would be easily corrected with one more quick editorial review. In no way did any of the errors detract from the story.

The language is concise but engaging. I was just as interested reading the early biographical information as I was engrossed by the details of their work during World War II. I felt that the tempo of the book was just right, easily following the chronology of their lives and not drawing out any particular period for longer than the reader could endure.

The only criticisms I have are that I would love to see photos (which, to be fair, may be included in the print copies; I only had a Kindle copy), and I wish that specific data was available as to the extent of the Trocme's impact during World War II. How many children did they help? How many families? How many lives were saved, families reunited? How many children attended the Ecole Nouvelle Cevenole by the time it closed in 2014? Perhaps specific data is not available, or the author determined it would not add value to the story itself. Still, it would be interesting to know the full extent of the global impact of these two extraordinary people.

Conclusion
I had never heard of the Trocme family before requesting this book through Netgalley. Now I will share their story as often as possible! I love reading the courageous stories that come out of times of extreme oppression. This is one such story, and it is amazing. I would definitely recommend this book!

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Grace: Set Apart

Have you ever been so lonely, you just wanted to be left alone to wallow in your loneliness? Call it a pity party, call it laziness, call it antisocial - whatever you deem it, it's miserable and not of God. And yet, that's where I've been. Perhaps it's still where I am, to some extent, although admitting it and dwelling on it in prayer these past few weeks is the first step to pulling out of it. Let me back up a bit and explain before you get the "abandon hope all ye who enter here" vibe. 

I've had a cutesy post about Christian community percolating for weeks now. I've written and rewritten it. I've sat down to do final edits and post, only to ditch the whole thing and walk away in frustration. I've tried to post it for almost six weeks now. Something held me back every time, sometimes with my finger literally hovering over the return key. 

I wanted to talk about how I just finished a Bible study with a women's group at my church entitled, "Believing Jesus: A Journey Through the Book of Acts," by Lisa Harper and Annie Downs. I'll be honest - I've never studied Acts in-depth, so I was curious to see what it contains and how it would change my walk with God. If you're not familiar with Acts, it was written by "Doctor Luke" (as Lisa calls him), the same man who wrote the Gospel of Luke. It is an action-packed account of the early days of the Christian church immediately following the ascension of Christ. The book is wonderful and really hit home for me. The longest I have ever lived in one place was four years, and I have been privileged to live and travel all over the world. Everywhere I've been, I've managed to find a wonderful church home that became as dear to me as extended family. And within that family, there were always those select few women who became dear sisters.

You know the type - the kind of women who hold you accountable but also hold you as you sob; the kind of women who encourage you, strengthen you, but also tell you when you're being selfish. These are the women to whom you bare your soul, second only to your husband (and God of course). Everywhere I've lived, I've been blessed to find at least one such woman and I still keep in touch with most of them today. They know my heart, they've loved me as only sisters in Christ can love. 

For some reason, five years ago this part of my life just froze in place. I had just moved to a new location, excited to be in a serious relationship and growing what seemed to be the beginning of a successful career. The next year was the single most miserable year of my life. There were certainly some very bright moments, such as when the man who is now my husband proposed and we were legally married a month later. But we didn't live in the same state, let alone the same house. I was miserable at work. I moved again within a year and had a beautiful wedding. But I almost immediately deployed for six months, thereby missing out on the opportunity once gain to develop any deep friendships. We moved again less than a year after my return. I was eight months pregnant, in a new state, freshly separated from the military (read: unemployed by choice to be a stay-at-home mom), and still practically newlywed. I was desperate for connections. 

Since then I've joined several Bible studies, toddler groups, spouse groups...I've reached out, volunteered, prayed earnestly...nothing. For the first time in years, I recently had time to sit down and really take stock of my life and the tremendous changes we had endured in just a few short years. Please don't misunderstand me - I adore my husband and trust him implicitly. No one knows me like he does. But I craved that deep, sisterly, Christian fellowship like I'd had in the past. It still hasn't materialized and I've implored God, in tears at times. The days drag on as I do my best to balance our now two children, my husband's frequent absences (due to work), finishing my Master's, staying involved in our church and community...I've been drowning in the everyday stresses of the mundane.

But just in the last few days, God has started to gently reveal to me the reason for this perceived loneliness. I've always thrown myself into every relationship, priding myself on being a "people person" and an "extrovert." I always refused to ever say no to anyone and relied on others at the cost of my personal relationship with God. I was putting others above God. It was putting a strain not only on my relationship with God, but also my home life. My husband, and even my mother, have always been quick to point out my seeming inability to tell anyone no. But I still didn't see how I was basically relegating God to the backseat. 

So this is a tremendously painful moment of grace in my life - God's grace in revealing this to me and forgiving me for my selfishness and pride; grace from my husband and family for not focusing on them as much as I should; and finally, grace in allowing myself time to pray, grow, and persevere. "Grace" is my word for 2017. I never could have known in January just how fitting that would be. It is even more amazing to me that God chose a book called Glimpses of Grace, by Gloria Furman, to show this to me. I wrote a review of this book on Goodreads and posted it to the blog in May. It has completely changed my life and the way I see my role in my family. I have a new focus now - learning to live the Gospel out in my home and allow God to work through me. As I do this, everything else will fall into place. And my loneliness will subside as I fill my heart and my home with the grace and love of Christ. I know it sounds idealistic, but it's the overarching truth that should be (WILL be) the focal point of our home. I also know it won't be easy and making such a commitment puts us directly in the crosshairs spiritually. Despite the inherent threat and effort involved, I need to put extra effort into ensuring God is at the center of my life and my home, at all costs. This is the only way we will have peace and live within the grace of God. 

Lysa Terkeurst mentions three encouraging thoughts about spiritual loneliness that really resonated with me:

1. Look for the gift of being humbled - look for the opportunities for God to humble your heart and prepare you for life.
2. Look for the gift of being lonely - chances are you aren't alone; use this opportunity to reach out to others who may be struggling in similar ways.
3. Look for the gift of silence - it is often in the moments of silence that we hear God's voice. Lysa says: "I’m trying to weave more silence into the rhythm of my life now so I can whisper, 'God what might You want to say to me right now? I’m listening.'"

(See more at: http://proverbs31.org/devotions/devo/if-you-ever-feel-lonely-read-this/#sthash.2ccISrnV.dpuf)

Being lonely may be painful at times, but it give me ample opportunities to grow closer to God. Instead of praying for God to provide a confidant, I now pray for God to help me feel satisfied in Him.

I've been learning a lot of other things as well as God has given me the time, desire, and resources to read voraciously. I'll be sharing these other lessons in the coming weeks as I continue to heal and learn to delight in the Lord. 

Won't you join me? 

Hapless but hopeful,
Cassie

Review: Glimpses of Grace: Treasuring the Gospel in Your Home

Glimpses of Grace: Treasuring the Gospel in Your Home by Gloria Furman
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

If you are a Christian homemaker just trying to live a gospel-centered life as best you can, this book is for you! I picked up this little book on a whim and then forgot I had it. After enjoying Mrs. Furman's essays in Mom Enough: The Fearless Mother's Heart and Hope, I was delighted to find it buried in my Kindle. I determined to read it immediately and I'm so glad I did. This book spoke to me, the exact stage of life I'm in, and the current battles in my walk with God. I was impressed and blessed by the tremendous amount of scripture infused in this book. Mrs. Furman really does present the Gospel in it's purest form - Gospel meaning "good news" - and how to apply it to homemaking. Although some of the illustrations were a little difficult for me to connect, I appreciated her honesty and transparency. Beyond the "normal" struggles of being a wife and mother of three young children, Mrs. Furman also deals with her husband's chronic disease, living in a foreign country, sharing her home with her church, etc. with so much grace. Grace being my word for 2017, I found this book encouraging, convicting, and a worthwhile read. I will be returning to it several times in the future I'm sure. Highly recommend!

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Review: Thomas Jefferson: Revolutionary: A Radical's Struggle to Remake America

Thomas Jefferson: Revolutionary: A Radical's Struggle to Remake America by Kevin R.C. Gutzman
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This is the best scholarly book I have read in a long, long time. I knew very little about Thomas Jefferson, and even less about his political beliefs, before reading this book. Mr. Gutzman addressed five areas that Mr. Jefferson focused on throughout his political career:

1) Federalism (decentralization of government, some would say "state's rights"),
2) Freedom of Conscience (more commonly referred to as "separation of church and state"),
3) Colonization (the gradual abolition of slavery in the U.S. by freeing slaves and sending them to a specially formed all-black colony, a.k.a. Liberia...),
4) Assimilation (the adaptation, or potential thereof, of Native Americans to colonial American culture), and
5) Mr. Jefferson's University (the University of Virginia).

I loved how incredibly thorough Mr. Gutzman was in his research for this book. The use of Jefferson's personal correspondence in addition to his public/published works gives the reader the feeling of having insider knowledge. I truly felt as though I finally had insight into some of the innermost thoughts and debates between the founding fathers! For instance, what was the original extent and intent for powers DELEGATED TO the federal government as laid out in the Constitution? Note that the wording of this question puts the States in the ultimate position of authority, not the federal government, which was what Thomas Jefferson proposed based on the Constitution as it was originally understood.

Here is one of my favorite quotes (from the first chapter, "Federalism"):

"Jefferson said 'that whensoever the General Government assumes undelegated powers, its acts are unauthoritative, void, and of no force.' So as far as he was concerned, a law like the federal Sedition Act could be treated - should be treated - as if it simply did not exist. Who would decide whether the federal government had abused its powers? Jefferson did not even pause. 'The government created by this compact,' he said, 'was not made the exclusive or final judge of the extent of the power delegated to itself; since that would have made its discretion, and not the Constitution, the measure of its powers.' So much for judicial supremacy, the twenty-first-century answer to this kind of question."

Wow. This is completely contrary to how the country is now run, almost without exception. Given the current political climate, I'd be fascinated to hear Jefferson's thoughts. I now find myself torn between him and Sir Winston Churchill as my guest of honor in the old "if you could have dinner with any historical figure, who would it be" scenario. But part of me thinks that Mr. Jefferson would be appalled at the state of the Union were he to see it today. This book was enlightening, challenging, and certainly revolutionary in its own way.

Highly recommend!

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Review: Mom Enough: The Fearless Mother's Heart and Hope

Mom Enough: The Fearless Mother's Heart and Hope by Tony Reinke
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Moms - I cannot recommend this book highly enough! This is really a compilation of a series of mom-related articles written for Desiring God a few years back. When DG decided to retire the series, they put together this book. And praise the Lord for that! Almost every article spoke directly to my heart and my life circumstances right now as a mother. I am currently a mother of very young children, still in the process of building a family; however, I know that the messages contained in these articles are from God and will apply to any/all mothers out there! Even if you are past mothering age and are currently waiting on or loving on grandchildren, this book is a gentle reminder of our vital role as women of God. I went into this book with so many secret battles that I thought were unique to me and had to be kept under lock and key. I was so, SO wrong. God's grace is so much bigger than me or my circumstances, and this book helped rekindle my passion as a mother and reposition my perspective on eternity. I encourage you to read this book, share it, gift it, read it again!

Here were some of my favorite quotes:

“By God’s grace, I can resist the temptation to treat my children as interruptions to my will for my life. Instead, God enables me to treat my children as precious gifts he is using to shape me into his image according to his will for my life.” 

“God always has been, and always will be, God enough. The battle is over, whether or not I believe it, and whether or not I delight in God’s enough-ness.”

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Grace: Under Pressure

There's a popular quote that says "Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says 'Oh [crap], she's awake!'" (edited for language; quote by Nancy Naigle). While it's a little tongue-in-cheek, there's an important Biblical principle embedded in this quote. Recently I've been asking myself: do I live my life in such a way that Satan sees me as a threat, or as a pawn? I firmly believe that when we dedicate ourselves to pursuing God and His will for our lives, Satan increases his attacks in an effort to thwart us. There's nothing more dangerous to his plans than an effective and passionate follower of Christ. To that end, as soon as I publicly stated my focus on grace in the last post, I quickly realized that Satan took it as a challenge. So began open season on Cassie! Yikes! The last few weeks have been tough, to say the least...

I am a firm believer in the reality of spiritual warfare, and it always amazes and humbles me to watch God work in the small moments and battles of everyday life. As the flu ravaged our home for almost two weeks, there were so many tiny glimpses of God's grace: Coffee delivered to our doorstep by a generous and caring friend; my husband arriving home from his business trip just as I became too ill to function properly; my husband's willingness to shoulder everything for a few days as I recuperated; and my sweet little girl squeaking "I love you, Mommy," as I cleaned her up after she was ill. These moments served as quiet, momentary infusions of peace and strength in an otherwise exhausting and discouraging period.

At the same time, another way in which God's grace has been evident in my life is through a very special book that I read last month. Thirty-One Prayers for My Husband: Seeing God Move in His Heart by Jennifer Smith (founder of The Unveiled Wife, www.unveiledwife.com) is a collection of daily prayers for women to use to help teach them how to pray for different aspects of their husband's spiritual walk. I chose to use these as a foundation for my daily prayers throughout the month of March (which conveniently has 31 days...). The result is perhaps predictable, but it still surprised me.

I didn't so much see change in my husband's life as my own. 

I looked forward to reading those prayers and adding my own heartfelt concerns for my husband and our marriage. I found myself returning to the principles behind each prayer throughout the day. In doing so, I was learning to apply principles such as compassion and encouragement in my own efforts to strengthen our marriage. What I thought were going to be prayers to help change my husband in fact turned out to be prayers that changed my own heart. I should have seen that coming!

I also found that each prayer was perfectly timed for what was going on in our lives. God's timing is always perfect to help guide and grow our hearts. I was so blessed by them that I've decided to continue to use the 31 prayers indefinitely, even though obviously not every month has exactly 31 days. I love how this daily habit puts my husband even more prominently in my thoughts and prayers, and helps me ensure that I am covering our marriage in prayer everyday. Satan threw a lot at us this month, just through the relatively normal stressors of life. Knowing that we were covered in prayer helped give me confidence and peace, even when I felt like I was losing the daily battle.

Lastly, I have to say that March taught me so much more than I anticipated as far as how to accept grace. Illness and other myriad issues humbled me and forced me to ask for help, from God and from others. In doing so, I was able to find new strength and peace in the knowledge that I don't have to do everything alone. I'm not alone; I never have been, and I never will be. I'm embarrassed to admit that I forget that foundational little fact more often than I remember it, so I end up thrashing blindly and looking like a fool while trying to fight battles God has already won. Accepting grace in its many wonderful forms makes me stronger, not weaker. As it says in Ecclesiastes 4:12, "Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."

2 Timothy 1:7 (KJV) says: "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." I like that translation because it affirms that even when life is at its craziest, when the flaming arrows are zipping past us on all sides, we can have confidence in God's grace. His spirit of power, love, and a sound mind are within us, helping us stay confident and, dare I say it, sane in the midst of chaos. A sound mind  speaks of self-discipline and peace that can only be the result of grace - God's grace.

I hope you are encouraged this week, and that you are able to face your battles with confidence and peace. I pray that you are overwhelmed by God's grace in new and exciting ways. Until next time, I remain,

hapless but hopeful,
Cassie

Grace: Why I didn't make any New Year's Resolutions

Hello cyber world! After yet another break, I'm back. I won't apologize for the break because in that time I had a sweet little baby boy. J is perfect and oh-so snuggly and I used the time off to soak in as many of those snuggles as possible. I also had to learn to balance my attentions between J and his older sister, who turned two (*GASP* whaaaaat?!) this month. Which leads me to my topic for this post: GRACE.

Why grace? Let me back up a little for a minute. I've always known that I'm terrible at taking care of myself, especially when it comes to asking for help. Never has that been more evident than in the months following the birth of our firstborn. Don't get me wrong, I adore her. But there were selfish parts of me that resented that I could no longer live up to certain standards, standards that I set for myself. The house never seemed clean enough, meals were often rushed and bland, my weight and stress levels soared, and I mourned the loss of sleep and privacy. I now know that I was battling some mild postpartum depression, but at the time I felt completely buried under all the responsibilities and demands on my time, most of which was my own fault owing to my habit of over-commitment. When a couple of rather serious family issues emerged on top of all of my self-induced stress...well, I had to seek outside help. I shared about that experience in a previous post.

I struggled mightily in that first year, and that was only after having one child. When I found out I was pregnant with our second tiny human, I knew I needed to strategize some coping mechanisms to prepare for the added stress. I thought about schedules for cleaning, methods for organizing, programs for support, etc. I raced to take a couple more classes for my Masters so I wouldn't fall behind. I shopped consignment sales for what few baby supplies we needed, and even spent a month with family just enjoying some quality time and support.

As the time drew near and I prayed over my mental stability, I realized that no matter how much planning and preparation I did, it all came down to one thing.

GRACE.

I needed to be prepared to throw every plan out the window. I needed to be willing to ask for help. I needed to allow myself time to adjust and heal. I needed to show myself some grace.

When the New Year rang in, I determined that a key component of this revelation lay in setting realistic expectations for myself. For me, this meant not setting any New Year's resolutions. Well, ok, I set one - to infuse my life and my relationships with grace. Grace would be the word for 2017. I prayed and sincerely asked God to help me to have more grace, for myself and for everyone around me. I also asked for help in accepting grace. For me, accepting grace from others (even God) is sometimes just as hard as showing grace to others. I knew that it wouldn't be easy for me, but I also knew that if I prayed about it continually, God would bless and multiply the effort.

So far this year God has moved in the smallest but most amazing ways. When I say small, I don't mean to minimize His work but to point out that there have been some seemingly insignificant blessings that have meant the world to me. For example, J came two days early and was bigger and even healthier than his sister had been at birth. He eats very well and is already smiling at us at only two months old. He had a brief bout of colic, but God provided healing and now J keeps a pretty consistent schedule (although he is still very clingy, but this Mommy doesn't mind the extra snuggles. That's what baby carriers/wraps are for!).

After J was born, over a dozen other families from our church and community provided meals for us. We had family members visit and help out around the house. Friends bought us mounds of diapers and showered us with gifts. We've been so blessed, I can't keep up with the thank-you notes!

God has also helped me to find ways to fulfill desires I didn't even know I had. I've discovered reading while breastfeeding and as a result I'm blazing through books each week. I've already read more books in the past ten weeks than I did in the entirety of 2016! I've also found a way to go swimming every week, which helps me relax and build physical strength at the same time (I've always loved swimming!).

Perhaps the most important area in which I've witnessed the grace of God recently is in my marriage. Since having J I've had the flu, mastitis, and food poisoning (twice in one week!). My husband has shouldered so much of the burden of this transition period, and as a result I am able to find peace in his patient love. I get to watch him grow as a Daddy and lean on him as my teammate and best friend. He has shown me the true meaning of grace in the past few weeks. He may not realize it, but when he loves me so extravagantly, he points me right back to God. And I'm so, so, SO thankful for him.

So I didn't set any resolutions this year, but I have seen more progress, joy, and peace than I could have imagined. All because of God's grace. I'm amazed, humbled, and excited to see what the rest of the year has in store. It won't all be warm fuzzies and sunshine. But these first ten weeks or so have shown me that I can absolutely depend on the grace of God. Now to learn how to share it with everyone around me...

Hapless but hopeful,
Cassie