#Adulting

I've always enjoyed January. It's like the calm after the storm of three months of holiday season. Let's be honest, the hype starts in October (whether or not you actually celebrate Halloween), and the next three months are the most exhausting time of the year. Don't get me wrong, I adore the holiday season. I even have a sweatshirt that says so. Here's a photo from Christmas 2013 to prove it:

That was my least favorite Christmas so far (I was deployed overseas), and I still managed to enjoy it. But there's something special about the subtle way that January quietly ushers in every new year. 

Think about it. There's usually still winter weather, maybe some snow on the ground, football, cocoa, and fires in fireplaces. People are still dreaming about their New Year's resolutions and how they're going to change the world. There's a lot of positivity in January. Plus, as mentioned last time, it's a very special month for birthdays in the Troja household. I love January. 

January 2016 is no different; it did not disappoint. In fact, this January started 2016 off at a joyous sprint! I "graduated" from physical therapy (which means I am healed enough to start working out fully again),  my husband earned a promotion, we had our birthday, and we got a new minivan. That's right, you read that right - we got a minivan. You'd think getting married, buying three houses, or having a child would've made me realize I'm an adult; however, I can honestly say I've never felt the full weight of that until we went shopping for our first minivan. Minivans in my mind mean lots of kids, road trips, forgotten french fries, mystery smells and muddy cleats. In social media lingo, minivans mean #adulting. All that aside, I am relieved to tell you that I am in love with my new minivan. I want to sit in it and smell it and take it places it's never been, like Costco, Target, and Hobby Lobby...in short, my minivan is awesome.

Other highlights this month:

• Book(s): Audacious by Beth Moore. I can't say enough positive things about this book. I love how her voice truly comes out in this one. It's honest, addictive, inspiring, and eloquent. I've always enjoyed her studies, but Audacious stands on it's own as a letter from the heart of one of the preeminent female Christian leaders of our time. Get it. Read it. ASAP.
• Project(s): The nursery! L is going to be 11 months old this week and I'm just now finally getting her room done. I'm sure I won't be able to go to such great lengths for all of our children, so I allowed myself to enjoy it this time. More details and photos to follow in a separate post...so stay tuned!
• Brag of the month: my incredible hubby finished several projects for me. I simply mentioned a fun idea - he took each of my ideas and improved on them until they were the most wonderful, Pinterest-worthy projects. He's so amazing. Again, more details and photos to follow in a future post...stay tuned!
• Bible study: Right now I'm in a women's group that is studying the Armor of God by Priscilla Shirer. If you've never heard her speak, look up her podcast (Going Beyond Ministries). She's another brilliant and beautiful woman of God who will absolutely knock your socks off. 
• Goal Progress: Well, I continue to lose/maintain weight, I've grown so much through each of the Bible studies I'm doing (and Audacious), and I'm starting to get the hang of keeping a household schedule. I got some sewing done, and I now think I have everything I need to learn the basics of knitting. Oh, and I'm in the third week of a graduate course on integrating psychology and theology. I promise, it's not as boring as it sounds. 

I'm so grateful for January. It's been wonderful! How about yours? How is God working in your life? How is your 2016 so far? I don't know about you, but I can't wait to see what February holds! I'm looking forward to the "long stretches of harmless, happy days...filled with work and dreams and laughter and lessons." (see below) I think it's in those quiet moments that we find the most peace and joy. Until next time...

Hapless but hopeful,

Cassie

Birthday Buddies

Today is my birthday. I'm 29. Yikes! One more year until I hit the next "milestone." Oddly enough, I don't really mind the impending 3-0, and I'm not focused on that at all. I know a lot of people freak out, but I still feel like my life is just getting started. I just had THE BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE. And I'm determined to make 2016 even better. What's there to freak out about?! Let's just recap again, shall we? Since I've turned 28, I've:

• ...left the Air Force (ok, so I turned 28 shorty thereafter, but close enough)
• ...moved to Kansas
• ...had a baby
• ...watched my sister graduate training and start an exciting new life
• ...had tons of family visit
• ...traveled to new places (Ohio, Alaska)
• ...saw a very dear friend get married (shout out to my LLBFF, "LeSarah")
• ...formed wonderful new friendships
• ...AND *drumroll please* just today we found out that my husband earned a promotion! 

I'd say that's a pretty good year, wouldn't you?! 

Birthdays are special for most people, but mine is especially special (yes, I know - special, especially special) in that I get to share it with my husband. That's right, out of the billions of people on this planet, I managed not only to find the most incredible man but he even has the same birthday as me! I knew it was meant to be from the moment he asked me "to go to a movie or waste time with him or something" on Instant Messenger. At work. At the end of the day so if I didn't respond he could chalk it up to me having gone home for the day. So then I Facebook-stalked him and discovered we had the same birthday. It was clearly kismet. Well, God actually, but fate nonetheless. And now...oh, how I love him...He's one of the few lucky husbands in the world who has absolutely zero excuses for ever forgetting my birthday. I guess that means we're both lucky. I get an amazing husband and he has a foolproof way to always remember my birthday. It's a win-win.

So as I count my blessings on my birthday, I count my husband not once, not twice, but thrice. He's my soulmate, my best friend, and my beloved birthday buddy. I like to tell him that he may have had it first, but I made it even better. I even helped ease the pain of Super Bowl XXI for my poor father after he watched our beloved Denver Broncos lose to the New York Giants. **Important side note: that wouldn't happen today. Peyton would never let little brother, Eli, win! Also, I predict Peyton will go out on a high note this year in Super Bowl L (aka Super Bowl 50). Watch out Carolina!** 

As we celebrate our birthday each year, I will try to ensure my husband knows just how precious he is to me. Sadly, this year I completely screwed up and forgot to get him a card. I usually get about three cards because I can never settle on just one. They all say wonderful things that express all the many reasons I love him. So he ends up with what amounts to a novel of sappy Hallmark love to read through. Not this year...for some strange reason, this year it completely slipped my mind. I feel awful and have decided to double down on making my husband a priority. 

One of the goals that I shared previously was to encourage him daily. I want this year to be amazing for him too, and I want his loving wife to be one of the contributing factors. He does so much for me and loves me with such a generous, patient, tender love. In some of my future posts, I plan to share with you some of the incredible things he's done. Seriously, he's so talented and thoughtful, I know you'll be blown away. I also plan to continue to share with you as God increases my love for my husband. I know it will only grow exponentially as the days and years pass. After all, I've forgiven him of his biggest flaw already: he's a Seattle Seahawks fan *small grimace*. 

I can just see us, once the kids are grown and gone, it'll just be the two of us again. We'll be celebrating our 90-something birthday holding hands, exchanging half a dozen cards, and reminiscing between bites of chicken pad thai, thai ice tea, and chicken sauté. And we'll still be madly in love. That's my prayer and my dream for our future, starting with this year. To love my husband deeply, wholly, and continuously. 

Hapless but hopeful,

Cassie

Love and football

Fighting off the Mom-bie.

Holy cow, has it really been four days since I last posted?! Well, just so you know, I haven't been completely slacking. Our sweet L has NOT been sleeping, which means Mommy has not been sleeping, which means Mommy got run down, which means *of course* Mommy got a nasty cold. Ugh. If there was some lovely snow on the ground to justify this cold and take the edge off my misery, it might not be so bad...haha oh woe is me!

Getting back to what's important...I'd like to wrap up my goals for you. This year's goals are about developing positive, healthy habits while allowing myself grace and patience when it seems like life is overwhelming. I've shared my top three goals for 2016. Those will be my primary focus throughout the year, and hopefully I will be able to share updates on positive progress with you as we go along. Those are not the only goals I have, but they are the only ones that I will not put on the back burner. I have lots of little aspirations, things that I would like to do to improve myself and our quality of life. I fully expect this list will change as I (hopefully) check things off, but here's what I have so far:

1. Find a way to encourage my husband every single day. It sounds like something that should be fundamental to any marriage, right? Unfortunately, I stink at it. My poor, long-suffering husband is so supportive and works so hard every single day, only to come home to a frazzled wife and a messy house. I say that I try, but I really do need to make an effort to try harder. I'll probably expand on this one later in a post that is slowly writing itself in my heart. 
2. Take three courses towards my MA. I'm studying Human Services Counseling through Liberty University, focusing on the Crisis Response and Trauma cognate. It is exactly the degree I need/want in order to be able to continue my volunteer work with victims of sexual assault in the future. I am currently registered for two classes from Jan-May 2016. If I can squeeze one more in later in the year, I will only have three left to complete my degree! 
3. Read one recreational book per month. This is in addition to any books I use for my quiet time and does not include the books required for my MA classes. This is purely for my enjoyment. Right now I'm reading Audacious by Beth Moore and it's fantastic! I love her voice and her passion is inspiring. I highly recommend it!
4. Learn to knit and continue learning to sew. I am comfortable enough in my crocheting skills that I feel like I can afford to divert some time to learning to knit. I'll still work on improving my crocheting, but I'm looking forward to learning some new skills. I have quite a few patterns,  a lot of fabric, and heaps of yarn skeins. I think that should keep me busy for a while... 
5. Blog at least twice per week. I still don't know why I feel led to do this. Maybe it'll reach people; maybe it'll die out by the end of the year and it will have been nothing more than a venue through which I practice my writing. Who knows? As my British friends would say, "I'm going to give it a go!"

I suppose that's it for now. You may look at these and laugh at the new-Mommy naïveté; or you may be impressed that I'm able to do more than just get out of bed and survive. If I'm honest, there are some days I have to stop myself from succumbing to the temptation to morph into a "Mom-bie" (def: an exhausted woman driven to the brink of madness; usually spotted wearing sweats/yoga pants, messy up-do, and prowling the aisles of Target; survives on caffeine and sheer force of will; smells of french fries, apple juice, and ever-so-slightly of vomit). I've seen and pitied those women. Heck, I've been in their shoes and I only have one child (so far)...but I know that God has big things for me this year. How do I know? Because that has been His trend for every single year of my life. I'm so excited to get started! Please feel free to share any of your thoughts and/or goals with me. What are you up to? How is God moving in your life? What would you think of a Trump-Palin Whitehouse? Oops, sorry I lost focus there...I need more Tylenol and/or caffeine again. I'm off to make some tea and spend some time with my husband. I hope you all have a blessed week!

Hapless but hopeful,

Cassie

The One Where Lucy Causes a Flood

I was all set to finish sharing my last few minor goals for this year, until something happened. A battle of hilariously epic proportions happened. This morning happened.

It really all started yesterday morning. I did my quiet time, and I was admittedly proud of myself for getting through so much material. Ah, pride. It loves to rear it's ugly head in the most seemingly benign and absurd ways sometimes. The only reason I got through all that material was L slept most of the morning, having been up most of the night. God had blessed me with the time to get through it, but I somehow missed that while I was preoccupied patting my own back. Well, God likes to beat our pride out of us and remind us who is really in charge.

Before I knew it, we were running late to L's baby swimming class ("Wet Wigglers." Yikes.). I grabbed everything, cut the usual "NO-Mommy-not-the-car-seat-I-hate-the-car-seat" fight short, jumped in the car, and made it with barely a few minutes to spare. We had worn our swimsuits to class, so that saved us even more time. Guess what? In all that rush, I completely forgot a change of clothes for myself. I had worn my swimsuit to the pool...do you see what I'm getting at? I had nothing to wear under my oh-so-fashionable sweats and hoodie after the class. And of course, that's when I saw several people I knew. Talk about humility...

The rest of the day was a mess until John got home, and even then I had completely botched dinner. My wonderful husband ate it anyway, God bless him. I was so grateful to crawl into bed, snuggle my baby to sleep, and welcome sleep myself. Except I didn't sleep much. I had a nightmare, from which I awoke sweaty and terrified. After that, L was up several times, including an entire hour starting at 4:00AM which she had apparently decided was an appropriate time to play. By the time my 6:00AM alarm went off to roust me out of bed for my quiet time, I was completely beat.

But I got up and did my quiet time. I got through every page with plenty of time to spare for prayer and making breakfast. I arrogantly penned this in the notes at the end of today's study:

"I must initiate action in order to see Christ's victory in my life.

It starts with me.

It starts now."

Ha! Issue a challenge like that to the devil and he will respond. In my prideful state, I wasn't prepared, at least not like I thought I was. L woke up, interrupting my prayer time and effectively canceling my plans to cook breakfast for John (hoping to make up for that horrid dinner...). After he made breakfast (he's such a blessing), I got up from the table and promptly caught myself standing in front of the fridge, having completely forgotten why I got up in the first place. My brain was fried. 

I sometimes wonder how any mother can be trusted to be alone with small humans when mothers have to operate on such little sleep, frequently missed meals, etc. This was one such morning in the Troja household. I thought I would be smart by refilling L's humidifier so it was ready to go when she went down for her morning nap. It was a good idea that took a huge, wide U-Turn for the worst. In my foggy condition, I failed to notice the "DO NOT FILL HERE" printed boldly across the top of the humidifier. You guessed it - I filled it there. I yelped, put down the distilled water jug and plopped L down as water spilled out of the base and all over the hardwood floor. As I mopped it up, I heard an ominous "glug-glug-glug..." L was dumping the rest of the jug all over the middle of the floor. I yelped again, which made L cry, and ran for more towels. While wringing everything out at the bathroom sink, I heard something fall and looked over to see L had gotten her hands on a squishy, poop-filled cloth diaper that I had forgotten to clean out yesterday. The same chain of events followed: yelp, tears, cleaning.

After I got L calmed down, I went for a refreshing cold beverage. Ignoring the wine rack in the corner calling my name, and the caffeine on the bottom shelf offering to help ease my exhaustion, I settled for a Sierra Mist. It was at this point that I remembered hearing a funny noise this morning...and that I had put a Sierra Mist in the freezer last night. You know where this is going...Sierra Mist all over the inside of the freezer. I took the entire shelf out, dumped it in the sink, and trudged upstairs, defeated. 

As I sipped my disappointing Sierra Mist and pondered why all of this was happening to poor little old me, my words from my quiet time this morning taunted me. Even in my tired, near brain dead state, I realized exactly what had happened. I had allowed my own pride to take over and I had effectively issued a challenge that I was not ready to combat. The enemy had pounced on the opportunity and had thrown everything he could at me to try to discourage and frustrate me. He'd almost succeeded. But God had gently brought me back to the breakfast table and my own words. I needed to start over, let go of my pride, thank God for his grace, and humbly submit the rest of the day to Him. That was what I should have done in the first place. I could have avoided everything - the soaked hardwood floor, L's confused and frightened tears, the poop-smeared floor and cabinet...

So after L went down for her nap, I thanked God for a little spare time and sat down to share everything with you. Hopefully you can learn from my hapless mistakes. It may seem small, but pride seeps into everything we do and has the power to completely throw our lives off-kilter if we let it. The lesson here is this: I wasn't wrong - it does start with me, and it does start the second we wake up. My mistake was in thinking that I have anything to do with it, except to humbly give every day to God and "pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks." (1 Thessalonians 5:17-18a) So, with renewed vigor and new humility, let's try this again:

It starts with me.

It starts now.

Hapless but hopeful,
Cassie

2016 Goal #3: Healthy Wife, Happy Life

Have you ever looked back at photos that you know you should cherish because of the memories they represent, and yet you're haunted by something? Maybe it's a terrible haircut, poor fashion choices, a weird acne breakout, or maybe, if you're like me, it's your weight. In 2012, I moved to Idaho and started the worst nightmare of a job I could've ever imagined. That hellish misery plunged me into depression which caused my weight to balloon. In 2013, I moved to California to be with my husband and I was simultaneously the happiest and the heaviest I had ever been. I deployed immediately following our wedding, during which time I worked out regularly but failed to lose weight. Shortly after returning home, I was pregnant with L. My weight continued to balloon from there until the scale reached numbers I never thought I would see. I needed to make some drastic changes!

I gave myself a grace period as it takes a lot of time, patience, and determination to adapt to being a Mommy! I started working out on my own and lost a portion of the "baby weight," but I seemed to plateau pretty quickly. I considered dieting, but I'm exclusively breastfeeding and was concerned about the possible impact to my milk supply. By August, I was frustrated - nay, exasperated - and ready to give up. I decided to accept the challenge of a friend on a whim and start the 21 Day Fix Program. It's been four rounds and I haven't looked back or slowed down. Here are the before and after photos (forgive the poor quality):

It's true that a lot of how you look in a photo depends on how you stand, the clothes you wear, etc. I assure you - there's just over 50 pounds difference between these photos! I'm thinner and healthier now, mentally and physically, than I have been in years. It's important that I pause here to clarify something: I know there's a movement to accept "all body types." I applaud the idea, but I think a dangerous message has become associated with this movement, which is this: that talking openly about obesity as a problem is wrong and cruel. Please hear me here - I am the last person to judge or look down on anyone for their weight as mine has and always will be a struggle. I know it's not easy, and I acknowledge that there are even some medical causes. To accept obesity, however, is to accept a very unhealthy and dangerous way of life. 

I refuse to accept obesity as my reality. 

I changed the way I approach food by studying nutrition and using the 21 Day Fix. I was able to break my addiction to sugar, lessen my caffeine dependency (I'm a Mommy, caffeine is here to stay...), and I started to make much healthier food choices. I combined the 21 Day Fix workouts with the PiYo program in order to accommodate some hip pain that lingers from my pregnancy. Here are my health and fitness goals going into 2016:

1. Plan our meals every week. I will continue using the 21 Day Fix nutritional program. I plan to supplement with Shakeology and of course I will take my prenatal vitamins to guarantee that I am still getting proper nutrition while breastfeeding. Learn more about 21 Day Fix HERE.
2. Follow the PiYo and 21 Day Fix workouts as much as possible. I know these will help increase my strength and flexibility. Learn more about PiYo HERE.
3. Augment those workouts with specialized workouts that I have used before (from He & She Eat Clean in my home state of Georgia) and by swimming at least three times per week. 
4. Set weight goals monthly and participate in my 21 Day Fix accountability group. Staying accountable, keeping track of my weight, and taking measurements regularly will help my stay focused. 

I won't do this forever, only until I meet my goals. I don't want to become obsessed with my weight or how toned I am; rather, I only aim to be as healthy as possible and to create healthy habits that I can pass on to my children. If I can instill healthy habits in my family, I will have succeeded! For more info on my health and fitness goals, or if you have questions about any of these programs, feel free to contact me. You can also find everything laid out in detail on my BeachBody profile HERE. A lot of people balk at the name of the company (BeachBody) because it seems to imply that the end goal should be to look amazing in a bikini. That is simply not true, and if you're willing to spend 21 days working on your health with me, I can prove it to you!

No matter what, I hope that you choose to live a healthy, happy life. Remember to love yourself and never cease to be amazed at the incredible, miraculous machine that God has given us to bear our souls while we're here on earth. I wish you every success and the best of health in 2016!

Hapless but hopeful,

Cassie

2016 Goal #2: Organized Chaos

I. LOVE. ORGANIZATION. I really do, I'm not just saying that. I have an entire Pinterest board dedicated to organization "hacks" (click HERE and be amazed). I daydream about planners, containers, and labels. I love everything to do with organization.

When I worked professionally, my office was always organized down to the last staple and sticky note. I cannot concentrate when surrounded by disorganized clutter, whether it's studying, working, or even just chatting. So when I had a baby, my happy organized world was thrown completely off-kilter. Suddenly, everywhere I looked there were bottles, pumping supplies, diapers, toys, bibs, tiny little clothes, and suspiciously gooey stains. Now, please hear me here - I would never trade this blissful baby mess for the world. L is the most wonderful blessing and I love her, chaos and all. I just needed to learn to adapt my thought process and adjust to my new life.

I did a few things preemptively (before she was born) that only really started having an impact toward the very end of 2015. L was born in March. It took nine months to even begin adapting, which is further proof that I am a slow learner! This year I plan to repeat some of those strategies, but I will also augment them in order to improve and increase their efficacy. If you aspire to similar organizational goals this year, I would like to encourage you to research these resources and/or test if they might work for you. My favorite part about each of them is that while they were developed by other people, they still require YOU to do all the work. They've created the tools, now you just have to apply them. Being the independent and stubborn person that I am, I appreciate the ability to tweak back program and/or idea to fit my personal style and needs.

But enough about me, without further ado I give you my strategies for this year:

1. 2016 Goal Challenge by Morganize With Me (her blog is HERE). This is an annual challenge group run by Morgan Tyree. Her blog is faith-oriented and mostly focused on how to live a more organized life. Every year for Mrs. Tyree provides a comprehensive package of printable tables, calendars, etc. as well as monthly emails/blog posts about goal progression. All participants are encouraged to share their goals and progress throughout the year. It's a wonderful resource if you are looking for some accountability and encouragement in achieving your goals! I did this last year, with pretty good results. This year I'm hoping to have even better results as I've learned how to refocus my goals into more attainable goals. 
2. The Living Well Planner (TM) by Ruth Soukup (get it HERE). This is a beautifully designed organizational planner that covers everything from daily/weekly/monthly appointments to budgeting to meal planning to password security! If you haven't already read Mrs. Soukup's book (Living Well, Spending Less; get the book HERE), I HIGHLY recommend it. I loved the book and the meal planning actually helps us save a lot on groceries when done faithfully.
3. Menu Planning Board with materials designed by Megan Duesterhaus (get it HERE). This might seem like triple the effort as both Mrs. Tyree and Mrs. Soukup include menu planning in their materials. However, this allows for a tangible, easy-to-display system to augment the planners. I can post this each week on a calendar in our home for my husband and family to see. This will provide a reference for us should we want to make other plans. I will include built-in "leftover" nights in order to allow for some flexibility, i.e. date nights (side note: I DESPISE leftovers. There's no rational reason for this hatred, I just thought I'd share).
4. 21 Day Fix and PiYo by BeachBody (more info HERE). These are phenomenal programs that I will discuss in more depth later. For now, all you need to know is that both programs have set schedules once you start. This comes in handy as I try to squeeze in workouts while L naps, as well as augmenting with some other workouts (again, more info later, so tune in!). This also helps with meal planning as it limits our diet to much healthier options. These programs also include accountability groups to help you stay on track and meet your goals. 
5. Coupons. I shop for groceries at about five different stores, so keeping up with coupons can be rough. Luckily, Dillons and DeCA make their coupons available digitally, which makes planning a breeze. They also have reward program apps that allow for the coupons loaded to your member card digitally so they're waiting for you at the checkout counter. 

I use these resources to maintain calendars, create to-do lists, and plan our meals. For now, I'm setting a goal of one large chore per day, and then I have a list of chores that must be done everyday. For example: 

• Mondays: Today's chore: Clean floors. Daily chores: clean kitchen, do dishes, wash cloth diapers, wipe down sinks.
• Tuesdays: Today's chore: Clean bathrooms. Daily chores: clean kitchen, do dishes, wash cloth diapers, wipe down sinks.
• Etc...

There are also weekly and monthly chores, such as washing bedding and towels, cleaning out the fridge, and sweeping off the porch.

That's it for this post. Stay tuned for more of my goals, tips, and ideas for 2016! I'm off to finish my meal planning for this week...what are your organizational goals? Feel free to share if you know of any good resources too!

Hapless but hopeful,

Cassie

2016 Goal #1: Escaping Commonplace

I realize that this post may lose a few people, but it may also encourage those who care to read to the end, so I hope you will do just that. Not for me, not for the notoriety of this blog (ha!), but for the possibility that your mind may be opened and your heart may be encouraged. That is my prayer. So here it goes:

2016 Goal #1: Escaping commonplace.

Right about now you're probably rolling your eyes and thinking, "what in the world does that mean?" Well, hang in there and let me explain what I mean. My life, so far, is what most would describe as "normal." As I look back I can clearly see God's hand in my life, and I know that when it comes right down to it, I am incredibly blessed.

So what's missing? Why do I worry so much? Why do I ache some days and wonder why I feel so overwhelmed? I've had an on-again-off-again relationship with God my entire life wherein I always loved and acknowledged Him, He just wasn't a priority. Oh sure, I've read the entire Bible. Shoot, thanks to decades of AWANA I had a fair amount of it memorized at one time. Shouldn't I have a mature and fulfilling relationship with God by now? Something is still missing...In 2015 I realized exactly what it was, and I think this says it best:

Oswald Chambers has the unique ability to hit you dead in the face with a right hook and leave you feeling convicted, in awe, and begging for more. If you haven't read My Utmost for His Highest, do so pronto (start here). Chambers showed me that I have been stuck in commonplace religion, refusing to take off my shoes and kneel. The other day, I was reading quietly and God chose that time to team up with good ol' Oswald and hit me with a punch straight to the gullet:

Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire.

Hebrews 12:28-29 (NIV)

My first thought immediately after reading that passage was "He's not a consuming fire in MY life." Enter God with the jab: "Well, whose fault is that?" Mine. Entirely mine. And it only took me almost 29 years to figure that out. Despite all my head knowledge, I have refused to let God completely consume my heart.

So, in 2016 I will be endeavoring to escape "commonplace religion," "be thankful, and...worship God acceptably with reverence and awe" so that He can be "a consuming fire" in my life. What does that mean for me? So far it means four things:

1. I will set my alarm to go off between 5-6am when I know the baby will sleep long enough for me to spend some quality time with God. I'm NOT an early riser, so the selfish part of me wants to scream "that should be enough, God!" It's not, and I have to silence that selfish little imp every day. On days when that time block may not be available/possible, I need to make it a priority to carve out time whenever I can. If it comes to it, God doesn't mind hanging out in a bathroom setting...
2. I have to actively seek out devotionals that will speak God's truth into my life. In past years I've tried to read through the Bible and have been lackadaisical about finding material to augment that. No more! I know now that reading through the Bible in chronological or written order doesn't work for me, at least not at this point in my life. I need more meat! I'm starting out strong with Beth Moore's Praying God's Word. I'm also reading her newest book, Audacious, although that one is just for fun because I love her spirit. 
3. I must be intentional about my prayer life. I'll be honest - at 5am I'm often lucky just to stay awake long enough to say "good morning, God." I will be praying scriptures as well as keeping track of my specific prayer requests. At the end of 2016, I want to be able to look back and see how God spoke in and through my life by answering my prayers.
4. I will continue to seek fellowship through my women's study group, as well as our couples study group. Both have already enriched my life so much; I know God will continue to use those wonderful people to help me grow in my walk with Him.  

This is not necessarily an all-inclusive list. It may change throughout the year, I may add to it or find that I need to make changes. That's okay. The key here is that I am being intentional about eschewing commonplace religion, seeking God, and allowing Him to be THE consuming fire in my life. 

How about you? Do you have any books you'd recommend? Or do you need any recommendations? I hope God blesses each and every one of you in new and amazing ways in 2016! I'll go over my other goals in the next few posts. Until then...

UPDATE: I couldn't post this yesterday due to a technical glitch, and this morning I couldn't find my Kindle to do my quiet time. As strange as it sounds, those two things are linked and I know why. I know you probably feel like you're reading the

War and Peace of blog posts by now, but hear me out. 

I read Audacious in place of my normal study, and that was when God threw the final punch for the spiritual K.O. (and with that, my boxing metaphor is worn out). In the third chapter, Moore is talking about the story in which Jesus asked Peter three times "do you love me?" (John 21:15-17) Here's the part that applies to me:

...the most fabulous thing that could happen for some of us...is to come to the shocking, wide-eyed realization that, truth be told, our answer would be no...At least then we could get on with it and open ourselves to the real thing. But, as it is, we just keep going on and on with this gnawing sense in our soul that something is missing but, because we assumed that what we felt was love, it slips through our fingers like a palm-full of parched sand. We know this whole following-Jesus-thing is not turning out as soul-riveting as we were promised but we certainly don't feel like we can divulge our disappointment to anyone...Is that all there is to it? No...Following Jesus is meant to be driven and drawn by love. Audacious love...The love Jesus longs for is not just devotion. It's also emotion...And not just for Christ's sake but also for ours. Love is the catalyst...The person you are when you love Jesus with everything in you - with your whole heart, soul, mind, and strength - is the real you.

Beth Moore, Audacious (emphasis mine)

I think that wraps it up nicely. Now to apply it...(and now I really am done)

Hapless but hopeful,

Cassie

2016 - The One Where Lucy Finally Gets To Be In A Show

If you've ever watched the show "I Love Lucy," then you know that many episodes revolve around Lucy's hilariously misguided attempts to be in Ricky's show. I've seen every single digitally remastered episode and I still laugh at every goofy moment. I remember thinking, "If only Lucy knew there's a whole TV show dedicated to her antics!" I think there's a parallel there that often applies to our lives, and it might seem like a bit of a stretch, but hear me out. Lucy's on-screen character was so busy trying to be a part of Ricky's show, she had no idea that SHE was the real show. Now I know that there's obviously a difference between Lucy Ricardo, the fictional character, and Lucille Ball, the actor/writer/producer of the show. I still think there's a parallel here, and it's this:

How often do we get so caught up in trying to make life happen that we completely miss the bigger picture?

Slow down. Say no. Ask for help. These are phrases friends and family alike have said to me a few dozen times in my life. If asked to describe me, I think those same people would include words such as: stubborn, independent, busy, worried, stressed. These would be alongside other more positive traits as well, but to get the full picture you have to be completely honest. Like Lucy, I get caught up in the little things; I worry about them, stress over them, and struggle to do everything on my own because I don't want to be a burden. I get so buried in the weeds that I completely lose sight of the forest. In doing so, I'm sure I unwittingly miss out on some of the wonderful blessings God has for me.

I fail to see that while I'm trying to be in every little show, my life is THE show. God is waiting in the wings to give me an incredible, abundant life (see John 10:10). All I have to do is...Slow down. Say no. Ask for help.

That's what inspired my vision for 2016. Day by day, month by month, I will aim to declutter, let go, slow down, and enjoy my life. I know it sounds ambiguous, lofty, and probably more than a little cliche. But it's a change that is long overdue! I'm going to use this blog, various means of planning/organizing, help from others, and - most importantly - God, to achieve as much abundant and audacious (yes, I'm currently reading Beth Moore...) life as possible. Who's with me?

Next time I'll start spelling out some of my specific goals and the tools I will use to achieve them. Please know (in case I fail to mention it) that God will always be the crucial ingredient to any/every effort and success.

Here's to 2016 being the year I finally learn a few ways to kick back and enjoy the show!

Hapless but hopeful,
Cassie

NOTE: This is a photo taken from my quiet time this morning. I thought the example sentence was apropos my vision!

2015 - My Life, Extreme Makeover Edition

I probably should have mentioned that this may not be a daily blog. I'm still a relatively new mom with lofty goals and commitment ADD, which means that I'm usually trying to do a dozen things at once. I'll do my best to post things as I feel led, it just may not be every day...

Anyway...I know I'm a little late, but I thought this might be a good chance to review the last year or so of my life. Here are the highlights:

• I separated from the Air Force entirely. I'm not a Reservist, in fact I'm not working in any kind of professional capacity outside the home. I was able to separate with very few issues and little fanfare owing to the fact that I was pregnant. Much to their credit, the Air Force *usually* tries to accommodate new moms in this way. I don't think they're huge supporters of Motherhood so much as they don't want all the additional bills.
• We moved across the country to Kansas. Much to the surprise of everyone who has never been here, we actually love it here so far. Most people base their ideas of Kansas on the never-ending, relatively flat and boring farmland they drove past on long family road trips (as I did), or perhaps on "The Wizard of Oz." I know I expected a lot more tornadoes and a lot less fun stuff to do. Kansas has been a wonderful surprise and so far is a great place to start a family.
• We bought a house. I really enjoy our cozy little home. It's interesting to note that since we've moved here, more people have stayed in our little guest bedroom than ever visited when we lived in more interesting places, like, oh I don't know, California or England. Maybe it's because we're more centrally located? Perhaps they're curious to see how anyone can enjoy Kansas? Or it might be that...
• ...we had a BABY. She's the most incredible blessing in my life other than my husband. She's amazing. The joy and love she brings our home...oh my goodness there are no words! For the sake of this blog and my peace of mind, we'll call her 'L.' If we're Facebook friends or Instagram buddies, you can feel free to peruse the many hundreds of photos I post of her. Truth be told, if she had her own accounts I'm pretty sure she'd have more followers than I do. She's THAT adorable.

So you see, it wasn't an easy year, but it was a blessed year. 

Last night at our couples small group, we had to answer the question: "What has God taught you in 2015?" I really had to think about my answer because I've learned so much in the past year! My husband talked about God's timing, which was so perfect and evident in our lives during our whirlwind of changes. This made me remember a conversation I had with a pastor in which he pointed out "God doesn't deal within the constructs of time, because time is irrelevant to God. God deals with timing, and His timing is always perfect." My husband talked about how our house sold only a few weeks before we got to Kansas, and then we were able to close on our house here a mere week before our sweet L was born! God's timing is truly perfect.

But that wasn't what God wanted me to share. I chose to share how in a single swoop, God obliterated my pride, shattered my heart, and is still working daily to build me into a new, better me. I don't mean any of that negatively, although it was a series of very hard lessons (some that are still ongoing, hence this blog...). I thought I was prepared to leave the Air Force; I wasn't. I left a career in which I had various levels of success, technical knowledge, and a lot of confidence. I like to tell everyone I took a promotion into Motherhood, where my success is measured by the health and development of a tiny,  beautiful, dictatorial human; a job in which I had very little technical knowledge and zero confidence. I wasn't adding to the family income anymore, and I lost almost all sense of personal dignity and privacy. If you've had a baby or been in the room for a delivery, you know exactly what I mean. Or if you've tried to change a diaper only to get covered in pee or poo, or if you've tried to enjoy a peaceful stint relieving yourself in the bathroom with a tiny human pawing at your legs, or if you've been in the middle of an adult conversation while simultaneously wiping vomit off your clothes...I could go on, but you get the picture. 

Don't get me wrong, I adore my daughter and love being her mommy. I wouldn't trade it for the world, let alone a cushy job at the Pentagon. It's just that it's turned out to be the hardest thing I've ever done. I thought I was prepared and could do it on my own. God quickly corrected that prideful assumption and is still teaching me daily how to be a better wife and mommy.

So that is my 2015 in a nutshell. I should apologize as I should have warned you - I'm a little verbose at times. But that's how I think, and that's how I know best to express myself. Hopefully you've enjoyed learning a little bit more about my little world. If you stick around for next time, I'll share my dreams for 2016. Then we'll get into the "housewifery" stuff, I promise! 

Until next time...

Hapless but hopeful,

Cassie

Welcome to God's "I Love Lucy Show!"

Someone very dear to me once told me:

"Cassie, you're like God's "I Love Lucy Show." 

You see, I'm a klutz. I'm often forgetful. Common sense is not always my strong suit. I'm sometimes slow to learn new things because I'm a very visual learner. Have I mentioned I'm a klutz? I also didn't learn some of the skills required to run a home (through no one's fault but my own!). I wasn't always the most helpful, grateful, or respectful teenager, and now that I am a mother and housewife I can see how that potentially qualifies my mother for canonization. The irony is that I now call her for advice that I should have requested years ago when I could learn under her tutelage. Because I didn't, and because I'm such a visual/demonstrative learner, I often have to learn through trial and error.

Thus the name of this blog - "Hapless Housewifery." 

Thankfully I married a very patient man. He comes from a family of incredibly strong and gifted women, all of whom I love dearly. Now that I think about it, I also come from a family of incredible women. My mother was a military wife for over 20 years. She raised four healthy, happy children who love God and her. One of those children was me as the eldest child (poor Mommy...); another was my unbelievably smart, beautiful, and talented sister. I'm pretty sure little sisters are supposed to live in their big sister's shadow, but my little sister eclipses me in every arena. Except swimming. I'm a much better swimmer. I'm okay with her outshining me though because I'm so very proud of my sister and I love her more than any other woman on the planet, aside from my mother. So you see, I'm kind of at the bottom of the talent totem pole in both of my families.

What I lack in talent, I make up for with heart! 

None of this is meant to be self-deprecation. I'm proud of the life I've had so far and what I've managed to accomplish, with a little heart and a lot of God's help. I'm currently a stay-at-home wife and mother. I used to be:

• Moodles the Cow, the Chick-fil-A mascot. That's right, I wore a giant cow suit throughout my last few years of high school. Scoff if you want, but I got $10+/hr, all the Chick-fil-A I could eat, and into all the biggest state and local events for free. It was a sweet gig, as long as you didn't mind sweating inside a ten foot tall cow. 
• Active duty USAF as a Logistics Readiness Officer. That meant a lot of things, but mostly that I learned a lot about leadership and management. I met a few leaders I will spend the rest of my life trying to emulate, and a few I will spend the rest of my life trying to forget. Overall, the people made it worth it. 
• Sexual Assault Prevention & Response Victim Advocate/Response Coordinator (also for the USAF). It's a lot of big words that mean that I worked with military and civilian victims of sexual assault. I walked them through the entire process, from the immediate aftermath of assault to the denouement of the trial process. This was by far the most fulfilling job I had in the USAF.

I've been able to check some pretty cool things off my bucket list:

• Travel to Israel - check! Thanks to USAFA, JINSA, and my favorite college professor
• Travel to Greece - check! Thanks to cheap European airlines and a special shout-out to my dear friend, Emily, who single-handedly saved me from becoming a medical hostage (remind me to tell you that story sometime...)
• Travel to Italy - check! The sites are amazing, but oh the food and wine...*heavy sigh*
• Travel to Spain - check! Special kudos to my little sister who did a semester abroad there.
• Own a house - check! So glad I will never have to do that alone again...I'm NOT a handy person by any stretch of the imagination. But I learned I can fix an HVAC unit with my hubby thousands of miles away via FaceTime...
• Get a dog - check! My sweet Cooper puppy was my "baby" for a couple of years, and I still love him dearly. His giant, fluffy, slobbery love got me through some pretty rough times.
• Get married - check! Holy cow did I ever win the marriage lottery too! More on that later...
• Have a baby/babies - check! My sweet baby girl is more love and fun than I could have ever imagined. She is such an UNBELIEVABLE blessing!

So those are the highlights. If you've read this far, you deserve a fresh gooey homemade chocolate chip cookie. Unfortunately, they haven't developed the technology for me to be able to give you that. For now you'll have to accept a digital high-five. I'm going to try to use this blog to share my life experiences with others in the hopes that it might save them from making some of my mistakes, and maybe even help them find better ways to do things! So here goes nothing. I don't have any real expectations, except that I've felt God tugging at my heart to share my voice for a while now. We'll see what happens and where this goes. It may just be me bouncing ideas around in my head, out through my rear end, and onto the screen via a MacBook keyboard. Or it may just touch someone's heart and impact their life positively. Either way, I give this to God and pray that if you're reading this, you have a wonderful life!

Hapless but hopeful, 

Cassie