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Tuesday, January 5, 2016

2015 - My Life, Extreme Makeover Edition

I probably should have mentioned that this may not be a daily blog. I'm still a relatively new mom with lofty goals and commitment ADD, which means that I'm usually trying to do a dozen things at once. I'll do my best to post things as I feel led, it just may not be every day...

Anyway...I know I'm a little late, but I thought this might be a good chance to review the last year or so of my life. Here are the highlights:

  • I separated from the Air Force entirely. I'm not a Reservist, in fact I'm not working in any kind of professional capacity outside the home. I was able to separate with very few issues and little fanfare owing to the fact that I was pregnant. Much to their credit, the Air Force *usually* tries to accommodate new moms in this way. I don't think they're huge supporters of Motherhood so much as they don't want all the additional bills.
  • We moved across the country to Kansas. Much to the surprise of everyone who has never been here, we actually love it here so far. Most people base their ideas of Kansas on the never-ending, relatively flat and boring farmland they drove past on long family road trips (as I did), or perhaps on "The Wizard of Oz." I know I expected a lot more tornadoes and a lot less fun stuff to do. Kansas has been a wonderful surprise and so far is a great place to start a family.
  • We bought a house. I really enjoy our cozy little home. It's interesting to note that since we've moved here, more people have stayed in our little guest bedroom than ever visited when we lived in more interesting places, like, oh I don't know, California or England. Maybe it's because we're more centrally located? Perhaps they're curious to see how anyone can enjoy Kansas? Or it might be that...
  • ...we had a BABY. She's the most incredible blessing in my life other than my husband. She's amazing. The joy and love she brings our home...oh my goodness there are no words! For the sake of this blog and my peace of mind, we'll call her 'L.' If we're Facebook friends or Instagram buddies, you can feel free to peruse the many hundreds of photos I post of her. Truth be told, if she had her own accounts I'm pretty sure she'd have more followers than I do. She's THAT adorable.
So you see, it wasn't an easy year, but it was a blessed year. 

Last night at our couples small group, we had to answer the question: "What has God taught you in 2015?" I really had to think about my answer because I've learned so much in the past year! My husband talked about God's timing, which was so perfect and evident in our lives during our whirlwind of changes. This made me remember a conversation I had with a pastor in which he pointed out "God doesn't deal within the constructs of time, because time is irrelevant to God. God deals with timing, and His timing is always perfect." My husband talked about how our house sold only a few weeks before we got to Kansas, and then we were able to close on our house here a mere week before our sweet L was born! God's timing is truly perfect.

But that wasn't what God wanted me to share. I chose to share how in a single swoop, God obliterated my pride, shattered my heart, and is still working daily to build me into a new, better me. I don't mean any of that negatively, although it was a series of very hard lessons (some that are still ongoing, hence this blog...). I thought I was prepared to leave the Air Force; I wasn't. I left a career in which I had various levels of success, technical knowledge, and a lot of confidence. I like to tell everyone I took a promotion into Motherhood, where my success is measured by the health and development of a tiny,  beautiful, dictatorial human; a job in which I had very little technical knowledge and zero confidence. I wasn't adding to the family income anymore, and I lost almost all sense of personal dignity and privacy. If you've had a baby or been in the room for a delivery, you know exactly what I mean. Or if you've tried to change a diaper only to get covered in pee or poo, or if you've tried to enjoy a peaceful stint relieving yourself in the bathroom with a tiny human pawing at your legs, or if you've been in the middle of an adult conversation while simultaneously wiping vomit off your clothes...I could go on, but you get the picture. 

Don't get me wrong, I adore my daughter and love being her mommy. I wouldn't trade it for the world, let alone a cushy job at the Pentagon. It's just that it's turned out to be the hardest thing I've ever done. I thought I was prepared and could do it on my own. God quickly corrected that prideful assumption and is still teaching me daily how to be a better wife and mommy.

So that is my 2015 in a nutshell. I should apologize as I should have warned you - I'm a little verbose at times. But that's how I think, and that's how I know best to express myself. Hopefully you've enjoyed learning a little bit more about my little world. If you stick around for next time, I'll share my dreams for 2016. Then we'll get into the "housewifery" stuff, I promise! 

Until next time...

Hapless but hopeful,

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